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Installing Linux on a Dead Badger: User's Notes

By Lucy A. Snyder

5 April 2004

Let's face it: any script kiddie with a pair of pliers can put Red Hat on a Compaq, his mom's toaster, or even the family dog. But nothing earns you geek points like installing Linux on a dead badger. So if you really want to earn your wizard hat, just read the following instructions, and soon your friends will think you're slick as caffeinated soap.

Minimum Installation Requirements:

  1. one (1) pocketknife

  2. one (1) screwdriver, flathead, to install Duppy card (see item 4. below)

  3. computer with:

    • CD drive

    • USB, Ethernet, or a free slot for wireless networking card

    • Telnet or SSH client installed

    • cyberspiritual controller program such as FleshGolem (Mac OS X and Linux), Phranken (Windows 98, ME, 2000), or ItzaLive (Mac OS 8.1-9.x and Amiga)

  4. one (1) Duppy card (available in CardBus and PCI models) or SpiritInTheSky external adapter (available in ethernet and USB models)

  5. VüDü Linux (available from Twisted Faces Software)

  6. minimum 3' x 3' (1m x 1m) fireproof surface, in secure, ventilated area

  7. privacy

  8. one (1) dead badger, good condition

Optional Installation Requirements:

  • one (1) gallon of holy water (Bless! brand exorcise water is ideal) in a silver or silver-plated bucket

  • one (1) pair latex gloves

  • one (1) fluid ounce of flea-killing shampoo such as Ecto-Soothe or Mycodex

  • running water and a large sink or washtub

The following test installation was conducted on the concrete floor of the garage of a detached single-story house, on unconsecrated ground, using a 400MHz clamshell iBook, and began shortly after local sunset.

[...]

SOURCE: http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml

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